Some times there's nothing more fun than going out with a bunch of good friends. No matter where it is whether it be the bar, a walk in the park, the mall, anywhere. If you have the right people anything can be a hoot.
Just like solo outings, group outings pose their own unique obstacles. Not every time, but some times. My main concern is always the comfort of my friends who are with me. I deal with "lookers" and curious kids every day. My friends and family however do not experience it to the extent that I do.
There have been times where I am out with my mom and there might be a kid who is particularly vocal about their "observations". Again, I've said before if they are questioning to understand, I have no issue. If they're questioning because something is different and that's automatically weird, then that's a different story.
A recent experience I had was at the Trader Joe's. Now don't get me wrong, I love me some organic food as much as the next person. But just like the next person, I go to the super market with a goal in mind, and just want to get my errand done seemlessly.
We were searching for smoked salmon and there was a child who saw me and started to yell "mommy, look how big that girl is", probably referring to my head (thanks hydrocephalus). We were honestly trapped in that Trader Joe's is designed in such a way the swift discreet exits are kind of hard to do. So we were at the mercy of this little girl (and her apparent unobservant mother).
I felt so bad for my mom, to experience her own child being ridiculed by a rude child. And I felt bad for the little girls brother, who was obviously mortified. The little girl had tried to get her brother to join in with her, but he refused. Good job young man, kudos to you.
Anyway, again when these situations happen with other folks around, I'm more embarrassed for them. I can understand it can be hard to know what to do off the cuff. Personally here is my advice:
Know your friend. Are they the type to confront situations? If they are, try to think of a polite way to talk to whoever is making comments or gestures. Never make the person feel bad, just help them to understand why their actions are not necessarily the right way to handle their curiosity.
If you're like me, you avoid confrontation like the plague. Usually I just ignore things, and discuss it with whoever was there with me to witness the situation. If it gets excessive, for example if a person is literally harassing you and following you through the store then yes, by all means, say something. And if your saying something doesn't get you results, address it with a staff member. Often times employees and store managers will not tolerate people teasing other customers because it brings down the experience, and they want all of their customers to feel safe and comfortable. If you're wondering, yes, the above situation did happen to me.
Other situations like when I go to the bar, they're a whole different kind of animal to deal with. There have been times when I have been out with my friends and I get carded and they don't. I've gone in by myself and not been served because people think I'm too young. Usually I have a few sarcastic comebacks up my sleeve to remedy those situations. But honestly, it annoys the crap out of me.
All in all, group outings require a lot of tolerance, patience, and forgiveness. There's the fine line between people not understanding and questioning to understand, or just being rude for the sake of being rude and not wanting to understand.
Sorry if this post was a little bit of a rant. My intent is never "oh woe is me". The intent is always to educate and explain my different perspective. To open a window into a new way of looking at the world, perhaps a shorter point of view? (Don't worry you can laugh at that joke).
Thanks for reading friends! Don't forget it's Dwarfism Awareness Month! Just be aware, I'm short 😜
Peace, Love, and Otters
Laura
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