Have you ever run into those type of people that say things like "I've seen some shit" but really they were just the nerds in school that were the self imposed social recluse type? I run into that a lot. There are only a few people who I can really listen to when they say things like that. Those being veterans, victims of traumatic events, and first responders, to name a few. But not people who may have been called four eyes a few times in grade school.
We all have our battles, I get it. But what I'm finding life is about is having those tough experiences but making yourself better because of them.
This weekend I was visiting Ryan and we went to the renaissance festival in Rochester. There were the typical "lookers" as my dad calls them (children and even adults who will stare at me). Some were worse than others but they don't bother me too much anymore. But the main event was at a dagger merchant's stall.
I'll set the stage: a counter about 4ft tall, probably about 6 square feet for customers to look at the merchandise, and 3 period dressed renaissance reenactors manning the stall.
I took a look and was not very interested. I resigned myself to looking around the stall at the decor while Ryan looked at the wares. The owner beckoned to me in renaissance speak. She told me her husband was about an inch taller than me.
She all but forced me to come behind the counter and look at everything. It drew attention which was the worst of it all.
I'll tell you that the first thing that came to mind was that she was making fun of me. I soon learned that she was telling the truth. She started talking like a 21st century person. She told me that she works with achondroplastic girls and helps them with confidence. She said "even though you have big heads and deformed limbs, you all have the most beautiful eyes and you gotta speak up for yourself"
She struck me as the type who had acne and glasses and didn't blossom until about freshmen year of college. And since she had that "tough" experience, she felt the need to impose her "wisdom" on every girl that may have a quiet voice. I get it, adolescence is tough, but we all have to grow a thick skin, and some has to be thicker than others.
I didn't care that she mentioned my bigger head, my curved limbs, or my quiet voice. But seriously, how dare she say I have a confidence issue?? I'm a gold award recipient, a former residence life worker, I've held many customer service jobs, I have anxiety out the wazoo but I still go to my phone call heavy job. I walk out the door to get the mail and people stare at me from their cars. If that's not confidence, I honestly don't know what is.
To be my own devil's advocate, she meant well. You could tell. But it's like when the pet store worker tells you that you need a 10 gallon tank to adequately support your carnival prize goldfish, and you politely nod your head yes as you reach for the dinky little 99 cent fishbowl. Yeah okay, you may know a lot, but I have my own experience.
The only people who's opinion I really take into account when it comes to dwarfism stuff and the perspective of a dwarf is doctors with PhDs who study dwarfism and other dwarves. Having dwarfism is something you really have to experience. The people at A.I. DuPont hospital that have worked with me have interviewed, studied, and observed hundreds of individuals. They really have an idea of what it's like to live in a world too big for you. You may know someone one who's going through something, but it's very difficult to understand unless you go through it yourself.
What I'm trying to say is, don't try to perform a surgery if you're not a surgeon. Don't tell someone with a broken leg how hard it is to go about every day life if you've never broken a bone. Same goes for disabilities of any kind.
For those of you waiting to find out what happened next at the Ren fest, it's not very glamorous. I cried for a good 20 minutes. Not because of what she said. But that she forced her help on me and made a spectacle of me.For me, that's the worst thing anyone could do to me; no matter how well I know you. But especially with strangers. Would you force someone in a wheel chair to be carried up the stairs by an able bodied person? No? Well then please accept that I don't need a step up. Offering is fine, but it's a once and done deal.
Ryan being the wonderful person he is helped me through my mortification. He's a good egg.
Now there are times where I'm trying to reach something that I need and someone steps in and helps without me asking. Like the other day at dunkin I got a coffee and the guy realized I wouldn't be able to reach the straws so he grabbed one for me. That was nice cause I did need one.
Sorry Ren Faire lady, but if you are trying to school me on my own condition and you can't say it right... go back to the 15th century please.
By the way, the best part of the day was when a fairylike girl fluttered through the "forest" and called Ryan and I adorable for "canoodling in the forest".
Peace, Love, and Otters
Laura
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