Hello Everyone!
It is I, the short, blonde, otter-loving Laura, back again and better than ever. If you're reading this, maybe you've been here before, maybe this is your first post. If these apply to you, welcome back, and welcome! I am so super glad to have you here.
So, after almost a year of no posts, I went back over my posts, and I realized, I was complaining a lot, which was NOT the intention of this blog. This blog is meant to educate, inform, and spread the word on a condition that does not have the best media coverage. So, think of this post as a re-vamp, re-focus, and renewal. I think this blog has a lot of potential, and I'm ready to give it the effort it deserves.
Anyway, hi again. A lot has happened since 6/22/17, yes, you read that right, 6/22/17 is the last time I posted. I finally gave up the red hair, met an AMAZING person who I wish to share my dreams with, got a new job, started grad school, bought a car of my own, and got a little older too. But the most important thing that has happened to me, is that I have been shifting my perspective on life. If any of you know me personally, you would probably describe me as cheery, hardworking, goofy, and stuff like that. Well, now I'm a big old grump!
Just kidding.
I would say that I'm still positive, goofy, a little messy, hardworking, and fun loving. But the most important thing is, I don't focus on the things I cannot change. Dwarfism is something I cannot change. Worrying about it, griping about it, and complaining about it is not going to change it. Hiding behind dwarfism and the problems I face because of it isn't going to make it better. As I said before, this blog is meant to inform. A big journey that I'm on is the journey to loving myself. It's not easy. I have the issues that plague everyone: doughnuts taste too good, my clothes are getting smaller (I swear it's them getting smaller!) things are expensive, and money is hard to work for some days. But in addition to those "normal" problems, my daily journey is a little (no pun intended) different from the average person (Yes, we still try to use the word average rather than normal).
This has been a tough thing to both recognize, and work on. I always thought that I was ignoring dwarfism, and I even thought that this method would work for me. Let's say that your finger got a cut on it, and it got infected. Not your fault, things happen, we scrape our fingers all the time. But now it's infected. Are you really going to ignore that? Well, it's a little different, but the idea is the same. Something about me is unchangeable, and I can't really ignore it. Some disabilities are able to be hidden pretty well. Most people who are "hiding" these disabilities are able to acknowledge, adjust, and move on with their lives. I realize I've been allowing dwarfism to creep into my life and take over. Not in the ways you would think. I still push my residents around just the same as anyone, I participate in average activities of daily living/working. So maybe from an outside perspective, it looks like I'm getting along just fine, and that's what I hope you see :)
For the most part, I am getting along just fine, and it took some work to get there. I don't really like to go to public places. Just like anyone else, I want to go in and go out with minimal setbacks. Do I feel like there's a neon sign that is 3 feet taller than me saying "hey, this is different!" well, yes but that isn't actually true.
I prefer to go to places where I'm comfortable and where I can reach the majority of what I need on my own, but we all want independence.
We can't blame people who don't know what they're doing. We can't be upset over unintentional actions. If I was to get upset over every time someone looked at me and took a second (and third, and fourth...) glance at me, I'd be wasting a lot of the precious time I have here on this earth.
What I'm trying to get at is, dwarfism is a very real thing that I cannot hide, and I never will be able to hide it. So I gotta own it. I gotta be me. Maybe I won't say "I'm Laura, I'm 24, blonde, a fan of people over the age of 65, and a dwarf", but it'll definitely be in the next sentence. With the help of my AMAZING support system consisting of family, friends, awesome counselor, amazing life partner, and an awesome aspiring therapy dog, I'm doing just fine. I'm not all the way there yet, but life's a journey, and I've packed my bags to explore it.
So welcome to my blog of self-exploration and dwarfism!
I'm so glad you've chosen to come on this journey with me, and I hope you'll stay for the whole ride.
Peace, tremendous love, and otters
Laura
Thursday, May 10, 2018
Thursday, June 22, 2017
Hold on to Your Hats People
Hey everyone. I know what you're thinking. "Laura, you were on a roll with the consecutive almost weekly posts! What happened?" Well folks the content of this post actually happened just about 4 months ago and it was a bit of a doozie (doosie?). I'll preface all this with this statement: I've seen a lot in my 8,000+ days of life. I've had a lot of things yelled at me, thrown at me, and I've had ridiculous things claimed of me. I've had to develop quite a thick skin over my life time, and honestly I appreciate it. You can't go through your life feeling the brunt of every whim, mood, and bad day of everyone you meet. If you worried about everything that you couldn't control or influence, you'd spend a lot of your time being depressed. I didn't always know this, and I've spent a lot of time feeling bad about these uncontrollable things.
Anyway, I digress. At my job, there's a lot of people that come in and out. People from all over the state, country, even the world. These people all have different experiences than what I have. No one can blame anyone for something that they don't understand. Ignorance is not always a bad thing. There is truly a first time for everything. However, I am a firm believer in the "live and learn" mentality, as well as "don't judge a book by its cover".
In March, I was bringing a resident back in. A coworker of mine pulled me aside and said "hey, there's a lady inside visiting someone. She is made uncomfortable by little people... I just wanted to let you know". Now this coworker is my friend and made sure I was okay and I shrugged it off and said it was fine. I continued bringing the resident inside, and my friend warned me "there she is".
Now, I'm an overly courteous person, and I made it so, God forbid, she didn't have to walk by me. I ducked into the dining room but that wasn't enough. The woman ran away from me and locked herself into a closet. She claimed to another coworker of mine that little people, or "midgets" are evil. They are the Devils spawn. They'll bring you to Hell. She was so emotionally distraught, she had to be walked out of the facility.
Now... anywhere else this might happen, I wouldn't have cared. This happened at my place of employment. The place where I am supposed to uphold a professional attitude and appearance. This woman indirectly pulled the rug out from under my feet and ripped all my emotional baggage put from under the bed. In front of my colleagues and my residents.
I broke down and cried in front of my coworkers and my residents. It's now one of the moments in my life I rue the most. I try to be strong for my residents. I am the sunshine in the hallways, their "little red haired girl". And that day I wasn't.
Now I know you're probably saying that we can't all be happy all the time. But it was a pretty failure feeling moment. This is something that hits deeper than I can ever express. Someone was afraid of me, scared, ran away from me. No one can know how that feels unless it happens to them. Someone was in genuine fear of me, and that hurts.
I was told that the woman is mentally ill. I feel for her... but I also have a beating heart... I'm going to continue to hurt from this for a long time. I will always be wary of her when she comes in. We now have our administrator walk around when she comes to visit because... she ran away from me... I am told because she is mentally ill, because she can't control her actions, I have to feel okay. I have to move on. I have to be the better person. This is something I will always have to live with.
There is always going to be something that we can't control. Something that hurts. But we have to power through it. We have to focus on the things we can control, and we have to focus on the positive. If we focus on those negative things out of our control, we are going to be miserable.
What did Monty Python say? Always look on the bright side of life, right?
Thursday, March 30, 2017
You Do NOT Have The Right to Tell Me I'm Cute
Hello friends!!
First off I want to give myself a pat on the back for doing MULTIPLE posts within the same month! Are we not proud? Because I'm proud. Anyway, I hope you are enjoying these posts, and I invite you to vote for the subjects of my future posts! You can do that on the side poll to the right. I would super appreciate if you could do that!
I don't know if many of you guys know, but I work in a nursing home. It is super rewarding work, and I love every single one of my residents. They are fantastic, and I think of each one of them as family. Whenever any of them have to go out to the hospital, or they're sick, it hurts like my mom, dad, or grandparent is sick. Don't even get me started when they come "home" after a long time away from us, it feels awesome! We had a resident return today and I almost hugged him without asking him if that was okay, because I missed him so much!
Anyway, the reason I brought up my occupation is because my story/life lesson/rant for the day is in relation to it. Unfortunately, with this job, some of my residents leave us in a most permanent way. It's very hard, especially if I know the resident personally. Yesterday we lost one of our residents, one I was particularly close with. Let's call him Moe. Moe and I had an interesting relationship. Moe was in the grips of dementia, which has hit home for me in multiple ways, but mostly in the way that my grandfather suffered with dementia before he passed away. But Moe would mutter nonsensical things. One day I asked him after a slew of words, "are you planning to take over the world?" to that he answered, "yes". From then on, our relationship was very much like Pinky and The Brain. Whenever I'd visit him, we would plan to take over the world; all before lunch time.
Unfortunately Moe left us yesterday. When I learned of this, I was pretty sad, but knew that this was coming. I went up to Moe's room to pay my respects and say goodbye. I was almost brought to tears. All of our little stories and quips instantly came back to me, and I held back the tears and the hiccups. For some reason, this one hurt more. I've now worked at my place of employment for just about five months. You get close with the people you work with, residents and co-workers. So I guess I've hit that marker where I've started to form meaningful relationships with the residents, no matter how far into dementia they are in, or whatever ailment they are battling.
I looked toward my friend, and started to walk closer to him. I was interrupted by someone, wreaking of alcohol, asking me why I was there and what I was doing. I realized it was another resident's family member. I was polite and motioned toward my friend who had recently passed, but unfortunately my message didn't seem to get through. So I left the room. The man that spoke to me followed me out to the hallway and into the elevator. He proceeded to tell me that I was cute, and he would tell everyone he knew about me.
Now, I don't know if it was the booze, if it was the lack of knowledge, or if that was really who he was, but I was not impressed by how this person composed himself. He should not have interrupted my time with my friend; especially while I was saying my final goodbye. He also had no right to follow me out of the room, and pester me.
He followed me into the elevator. He told me a lot of things that I don't wish to impart on this blog. He said I was cute and he would tell all of his family. Okay... If I had given him my number and we had planned a date... THAT would have been occasion to tell everyone he knew. But I'm just like you. You don't need to tell everyone that you met someone who just happens to be 4ft tall, dyed red headed, and blue eyed. That's possibly about 25% of the world's population... maybe? But what I'm trying to say is, I'm just like any other person. I am a worker of that nursing home, and I deserve any respect that you would give to any other worker.
Death is not an easy thing to deal with. It's one of those final things that we don't fully understand. We don't quite know the exact time when it's going to come. We know when someone is going to leave on a flight for a vacation, and we know when we're going to see them again. Fortunately, with modern technology we can even call that person while they're gone. But we can't call heaven. We can't ask God when we are going to see our loved ones again, and we sure as heck can't ask when they're going to leave us for that undetermined period of time.
As I said before, I love my residents. I love them more than chocolate, and that's a lot. I want the best for them; through life and death. I want to be able to peacefully say goodbye to them, without being interrupted. It's a lot... To see a friend leave this world. But you don't need to be different to know that. Just because I am smaller, does not give you the right to stare at me, say how cute and little I am. I am an adult; 23 years old. You wouldn't say that to an average height person would you?
Please know, that I understand that everyone walks a different path... but I know that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE deserves respect.
Peace, Love, and Otters my friends! <3
Laura
I dedicate this post to Emma Cook <3
Saturday, March 18, 2017
Things Are Not Always As They Seem
Hello Friends!
So lately I've been on a kick about how people try to tell others what they are capable and incapable of doing really gets me mad. Really what this boils all down to, is people judging other people, and forcing their unwanted opinions where they don't belong. For those of you reading this who know me personally, you know one of my famous lines is "don't judge". I often saying that preceding or following something that is going to seem odd or out of the ordinary. I usually say it in a joking way or sarcastic tone, but there's some truth to all of this humor.
Let me take a few steps backwards. We live in a society that is fueled off of opinions. Surveys are EVERYWHERE. It makes sense though, if you don't like a product, you're not going to buy it again. If the companies don't know what their consumers are looking for out of a product they won't know what to manufacture. So opinions are great. They're great when they're respectful, and given at the appropriate times. Sometimes, however, opinions are not necessary.
There's nothing worse than an ill-informed opinion. You might be talking to someone you know well or not too well, and you get on a subject that you might be pretty well-educated on. Then you get someone who may innocently be trying to participate in some friendly conversation and they know NOTHING (John Snow... he he he). They can end up embarrassing themselves, spreading incorrect facts, and myriad of different situations could go on. But there's nothing wrong with being a listener, and becoming an informed "opinionator".
Now, you're probably saying to yourselves, "so Laura is saying we can't talk to people about stuff we don't know about? How do we learn, huh?". No my friends, I'm saying, that when you're stating your opinions, and when you're speaking with someone who knows their stuff, let them speak. Listening is such a good skill to have. And before you put your opinion in, where you might not be the most informed in the room, wait for someone else to speak. Be open, you never know when a lesson is there to be learned!
So, this isn't just a philosophical, naggy blog. I know why you all came here, for a story right? Well here it is my dear readers :)
I am a klutz. A grade "A" klutz. When I was in 6th grade I played a character in my movie project named Ima Klutz. I think I was type cast for that (bah bum crash).
Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is, I'm not named Grace for a reason. I'm not graceful in the least bit. Like, not at all. I can't ever make a makeup tutorial video because of the faces I make and angles I find myself leaning trying to put on makeup in the most awkward ways. Case and point, I'm an awkward little thing. But as awkward as I am I can still get things done and be a productive member of society; though modeling will never be in my future.
What I'm trying to get at is, being smaller in a world built for taller people, it isn't always easy to look great reaching to grab things. For example, I balance a lot of things on my head. When I grab things from a high shelf, I will put it on my head as I go back down the stool.
Some might say that this is neat, or that's a really innovative way to carry things or get a task done. But I wouldn't say that, because not only is it uncomfortable, but slightly precarious as well. Honestly I've had my fair share of things fall on my face or my head. Elbows of other folks are constantly bumping into my face. It's a mess. But you know what, it's my mess.
I'm probably the person that the phrase "don't bite off more than you can chew" was written for. I constantly am doing too much. I'm volunteering for 10 things at a time, helping out friends when I should really help myself, subscribing to more magazines than I can read, and friending more people on Facebook and LinkedIn than I actually know... So you're saying I sound human? That's exactly right. I'm a person, just like anyone else. But I'm a uncoordinated, clumsy person at times, and that's okay,
People like to force their opinions and tell me when I'm doing too much, or doing a job that is literally, too big for me to handle. But as you have read in my previous posts, unless you've spent the last 23 years with me, you don't know what I can, and cannot handle. I find that there are a lot of people (not to target anyone) but often older people, that try to help me when help is not needed. They see me, what looks like struggling, doing a job, and they think I need help. Maybe, yes, sometimes I've decided on too much to do. But often times, I'm going to get the job done, and it's going to be done right, it's just not going to look pretty while I'm doing it.
So, lesson for today? Before you offer help, take a look and see if the person REALLY needs the help. Make sure obviously that they're not in any imminent danger, but see if they're actually getting the task at hand accomplished. Those who live a different life than the average person have usually figured out "hacks" to the different world that they live in. I know I plan a post in the near future to share "short life hacks".
That's about it for now. If you liked this post, please share it with your friends!
Peace, love, and otters,
Laura
So lately I've been on a kick about how people try to tell others what they are capable and incapable of doing really gets me mad. Really what this boils all down to, is people judging other people, and forcing their unwanted opinions where they don't belong. For those of you reading this who know me personally, you know one of my famous lines is "don't judge". I often saying that preceding or following something that is going to seem odd or out of the ordinary. I usually say it in a joking way or sarcastic tone, but there's some truth to all of this humor.
Let me take a few steps backwards. We live in a society that is fueled off of opinions. Surveys are EVERYWHERE. It makes sense though, if you don't like a product, you're not going to buy it again. If the companies don't know what their consumers are looking for out of a product they won't know what to manufacture. So opinions are great. They're great when they're respectful, and given at the appropriate times. Sometimes, however, opinions are not necessary.
There's nothing worse than an ill-informed opinion. You might be talking to someone you know well or not too well, and you get on a subject that you might be pretty well-educated on. Then you get someone who may innocently be trying to participate in some friendly conversation and they know NOTHING (John Snow... he he he). They can end up embarrassing themselves, spreading incorrect facts, and myriad of different situations could go on. But there's nothing wrong with being a listener, and becoming an informed "opinionator".
Now, you're probably saying to yourselves, "so Laura is saying we can't talk to people about stuff we don't know about? How do we learn, huh?". No my friends, I'm saying, that when you're stating your opinions, and when you're speaking with someone who knows their stuff, let them speak. Listening is such a good skill to have. And before you put your opinion in, where you might not be the most informed in the room, wait for someone else to speak. Be open, you never know when a lesson is there to be learned!
So, this isn't just a philosophical, naggy blog. I know why you all came here, for a story right? Well here it is my dear readers :)
I am a klutz. A grade "A" klutz. When I was in 6th grade I played a character in my movie project named Ima Klutz. I think I was type cast for that (bah bum crash).
Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is, I'm not named Grace for a reason. I'm not graceful in the least bit. Like, not at all. I can't ever make a makeup tutorial video because of the faces I make and angles I find myself leaning trying to put on makeup in the most awkward ways. Case and point, I'm an awkward little thing. But as awkward as I am I can still get things done and be a productive member of society; though modeling will never be in my future.
What I'm trying to get at is, being smaller in a world built for taller people, it isn't always easy to look great reaching to grab things. For example, I balance a lot of things on my head. When I grab things from a high shelf, I will put it on my head as I go back down the stool.
Some might say that this is neat, or that's a really innovative way to carry things or get a task done. But I wouldn't say that, because not only is it uncomfortable, but slightly precarious as well. Honestly I've had my fair share of things fall on my face or my head. Elbows of other folks are constantly bumping into my face. It's a mess. But you know what, it's my mess.
I'm probably the person that the phrase "don't bite off more than you can chew" was written for. I constantly am doing too much. I'm volunteering for 10 things at a time, helping out friends when I should really help myself, subscribing to more magazines than I can read, and friending more people on Facebook and LinkedIn than I actually know... So you're saying I sound human? That's exactly right. I'm a person, just like anyone else. But I'm a uncoordinated, clumsy person at times, and that's okay,
People like to force their opinions and tell me when I'm doing too much, or doing a job that is literally, too big for me to handle. But as you have read in my previous posts, unless you've spent the last 23 years with me, you don't know what I can, and cannot handle. I find that there are a lot of people (not to target anyone) but often older people, that try to help me when help is not needed. They see me, what looks like struggling, doing a job, and they think I need help. Maybe, yes, sometimes I've decided on too much to do. But often times, I'm going to get the job done, and it's going to be done right, it's just not going to look pretty while I'm doing it.
So, lesson for today? Before you offer help, take a look and see if the person REALLY needs the help. Make sure obviously that they're not in any imminent danger, but see if they're actually getting the task at hand accomplished. Those who live a different life than the average person have usually figured out "hacks" to the different world that they live in. I know I plan a post in the near future to share "short life hacks".
That's about it for now. If you liked this post, please share it with your friends!
Peace, love, and otters,
Laura
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Foramen Magnum Blah blah blah Don't tell me What I Can and Can't Do
Hey there my friends! I hope all of this WACKY March weather hasn't blown you out of your homes yet! Hang in there, if March is coming in like a lion, it's supposed to go out like a lamb! But we all know that I don't believe in normalcy, so please accept my good wishes that you all hang in with the rest of this weather, Spring is a'coming!
So you probably looked at my title, and you might not have understood that first phrase I used. Well, I'm about to drop a little minor medical knowledge on y'all. The Foramen Magnum is one of the foramina, or openings in your skull. You have quite a number of them, how many I'm not quite sure. You could probably ask your doctor or look it up yourself, but it's not important right now. Anyway, if you paid attention in Latin class or Latin roots in Bio class, (I still remember my Latin roots tests in Ms. Szeliga's 10th grade bio class) the Foramen Magnum is the largest of all the foramina. It is at the base of your skull. For my neuro/psych nerds its located in the occipital area of the skull. It is where your spine enters your skull and becomes your brain stem.
Here is an image to give you an idea:
Minor digression. Your Medulla Oblongata is located on the brainstem. The medulla is responsible for making your heart and lungs "go". So basically your heart beats because of the medulla, and you automatically breathe because of the medulla. Let's just say, it's super duper important. But keep that information in the back of your mind throughout this post.
When I was only 12 months old, "3 days after her first birthday" my mother recites back to my father an I as I type this, I was on the operating table to have a foramen magnum decompression. Let's break that down. We know what a foramen magnum is. Decompression means that something was compressing or squeezing something, in this case, my foramen magnum was compressing my brain stem. A very skilled surgeon had to take a medical (for lack of a better term) drill, and drill away bits of my skull so that it would not compress my brainstem. That's a really serious operation.
Anyway, currently I have a pinched nerve in my neck that causes me pain in my neck and goes all the way down my right arm. It gives me a lot of pain, but I don't let it slow me down. Just like I don't let my foramen magnum decompression slow me down. Sure, I can't play contact sports like soccer, for fear of heading the ball, or hockey because in both sports I could bash my head and literally send my spinal cord through my brain. But I'm still active. Just because I've had this major surgery doesn't mean I can't do things that everyone else does. Just because I'm small doesn't mean I can't do things that everyone else does. I just have to approach things differently. Medically, I'll have to treat things differently such as this pinched nerve. Getting things off the shelf is an obvious situation where I have to be creative. But in any sense, my situation is different, so my solutions are always going to be different, so they may not always come to mind right away.
Basically the foramen magnum decompression was a a very complicated segway into a situation that I'm constantly thrust into. People, family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers, have a tendency to take it upon themselves to decide what I am capable and incapable of doing. I could rattle off a ton of reasons why people feel this way. They worry for my back, they worry for my size, they worry while I'm on stools, while I'm standing on a chair, while I'm doing this, they worry for this reason, that reason, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can I just tell you right now, that I'm 23 years old. I've been doing this since I've been walking. I've been walking since I was 2 years old. That's 21 years of practicing these tactics. I have a better laymen's understanding of physics than the average person. So I promise, I know what I'm doing.
If you studied something, or practiced something for a long time, and then someone came up to you and said "oh no, you can't do that", it would be really frustrating to you. You may have gone to college for your profession. What if a newcomer, or someone who has not studied your profession came in and started to tell you how to do your job? But you weren't allowed to say anything because it would be impolite. It would burn you up inside, I assure you!
Let me open a window into the mindset that I was brought up with. Some might call it mildly politically incorrect, so put on your big kid pants for this next sentence. When I was a baby, and I would whine for things that were just out of reach, that would just need a simple roll over or a farther reach, my father would say to me, "you're not crippled, just short". For those who need it in more pretty terms, my dad was saying "You can do anything, it's just going to take different tactics because you are different".
I CAN do everything that I want to do. I WILL do everything that I want to do. But you know what? It WON'T measure up to your concept of normal. Normal is stupid. Normal is a poisonous word. The fact that the word normal was ever made, and the stereotypes that went along with it, is a travesty. AVERAGE is okay. Average is defined as "a number expressing the central or typical value in a set of data, in particular the mode, median, or (most commonly) the mean, which is calculated by dividing the sum of the values in the set by their number" (Google). Normal is what makes people think that those who stray from the median line are "bad" or "weird".
I'll step off my soap box now. To try to wrap everything up in a neat little package: looking at me, you wouldn't know that I had that major surgery at just one year old. You also don't know everything that I've been through. The only person that has been through every moment of my life is me. Only I know my true capabilities, and only I should be the one telling myself what I can and can't do. Aside from medical advice, I know what I am capable and incapable of; and I know that I am capable of great things. Things beyond my size.
Peace, Love, and Otters my friends!
Laura
So you probably looked at my title, and you might not have understood that first phrase I used. Well, I'm about to drop a little minor medical knowledge on y'all. The Foramen Magnum is one of the foramina, or openings in your skull. You have quite a number of them, how many I'm not quite sure. You could probably ask your doctor or look it up yourself, but it's not important right now. Anyway, if you paid attention in Latin class or Latin roots in Bio class, (I still remember my Latin roots tests in Ms. Szeliga's 10th grade bio class) the Foramen Magnum is the largest of all the foramina. It is at the base of your skull. For my neuro/psych nerds its located in the occipital area of the skull. It is where your spine enters your skull and becomes your brain stem.
Here is an image to give you an idea:
Minor digression. Your Medulla Oblongata is located on the brainstem. The medulla is responsible for making your heart and lungs "go". So basically your heart beats because of the medulla, and you automatically breathe because of the medulla. Let's just say, it's super duper important. But keep that information in the back of your mind throughout this post.
When I was only 12 months old, "3 days after her first birthday" my mother recites back to my father an I as I type this, I was on the operating table to have a foramen magnum decompression. Let's break that down. We know what a foramen magnum is. Decompression means that something was compressing or squeezing something, in this case, my foramen magnum was compressing my brain stem. A very skilled surgeon had to take a medical (for lack of a better term) drill, and drill away bits of my skull so that it would not compress my brainstem. That's a really serious operation.
Anyway, currently I have a pinched nerve in my neck that causes me pain in my neck and goes all the way down my right arm. It gives me a lot of pain, but I don't let it slow me down. Just like I don't let my foramen magnum decompression slow me down. Sure, I can't play contact sports like soccer, for fear of heading the ball, or hockey because in both sports I could bash my head and literally send my spinal cord through my brain. But I'm still active. Just because I've had this major surgery doesn't mean I can't do things that everyone else does. Just because I'm small doesn't mean I can't do things that everyone else does. I just have to approach things differently. Medically, I'll have to treat things differently such as this pinched nerve. Getting things off the shelf is an obvious situation where I have to be creative. But in any sense, my situation is different, so my solutions are always going to be different, so they may not always come to mind right away.
Basically the foramen magnum decompression was a a very complicated segway into a situation that I'm constantly thrust into. People, family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers, have a tendency to take it upon themselves to decide what I am capable and incapable of doing. I could rattle off a ton of reasons why people feel this way. They worry for my back, they worry for my size, they worry while I'm on stools, while I'm standing on a chair, while I'm doing this, they worry for this reason, that reason, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can I just tell you right now, that I'm 23 years old. I've been doing this since I've been walking. I've been walking since I was 2 years old. That's 21 years of practicing these tactics. I have a better laymen's understanding of physics than the average person. So I promise, I know what I'm doing.
If you studied something, or practiced something for a long time, and then someone came up to you and said "oh no, you can't do that", it would be really frustrating to you. You may have gone to college for your profession. What if a newcomer, or someone who has not studied your profession came in and started to tell you how to do your job? But you weren't allowed to say anything because it would be impolite. It would burn you up inside, I assure you!
Let me open a window into the mindset that I was brought up with. Some might call it mildly politically incorrect, so put on your big kid pants for this next sentence. When I was a baby, and I would whine for things that were just out of reach, that would just need a simple roll over or a farther reach, my father would say to me, "you're not crippled, just short". For those who need it in more pretty terms, my dad was saying "You can do anything, it's just going to take different tactics because you are different".
I CAN do everything that I want to do. I WILL do everything that I want to do. But you know what? It WON'T measure up to your concept of normal. Normal is stupid. Normal is a poisonous word. The fact that the word normal was ever made, and the stereotypes that went along with it, is a travesty. AVERAGE is okay. Average is defined as "a number expressing the central or typical value in a set of data, in particular the mode, median, or (most commonly) the mean, which is calculated by dividing the sum of the values in the set by their number" (Google). Normal is what makes people think that those who stray from the median line are "bad" or "weird".
I'll step off my soap box now. To try to wrap everything up in a neat little package: looking at me, you wouldn't know that I had that major surgery at just one year old. You also don't know everything that I've been through. The only person that has been through every moment of my life is me. Only I know my true capabilities, and only I should be the one telling myself what I can and can't do. Aside from medical advice, I know what I am capable and incapable of; and I know that I am capable of great things. Things beyond my size.
Peace, Love, and Otters my friends!
Laura
Thursday, February 23, 2017
I want to be you! .... Are you so sure about that?
Guten tag my friends! I wanted to be sure to get a post in before February was out. something occurred to me today that happens on a nearly daily basis. But it didn't occur to me the significant portion this little occurrence until I was laying down in my bed, alone with my thoughts.
So many times, people have said to me, "it would be so fun to be you" or "I wish I was your size, I would do blah blah blah all the time"... Well yeah you say that now until you get tired of doing whatever you would do, and then you realize reaching things is tough.
I'm not writing this post to complain, and I get it that some of my posts get a little on the complain-y side. But I'm just trying to prove a point, and also think out loud a bit too, so bear with me.
Let me put something in perspective. Wouldn't it be cool to have waffles for every meal? Like breakfast lunch and dinner, waffles, with all the butter and syrup you could ask for... gets old after a bit doesn't it? I promise you would get tired of being short. I'm not saying that there are not perks of being short. Being able to ride the little kid rides and shove myself in small places that people really shouldn't be able to fit is pretty amusing. However, having independence and being able to provide for myself in a sense that I can go to the grocery store and not have to worry about the few things that I need are not going to be on a shelf that's above my head, is something that I yearn for.
Anyway, let's get to the point of this post. I wanted to say that comments such as " if I was your height I would do such and such" come off as rude and belittling. My height is not a novelty. It is something that I live with, something that I never got a choice about. It is a part of me and I have incorporated into my life and into my personality in what I think is the best way possible. When people make their comments like that, it can be frustrating. It's frustrating because to me you're saying you're cute I look at you as a cute thing that walks around and I do not take you seriously. When really all I want is to be taken seriously just as you would an average height person.
So, next time you hear someone say "oh wouldn't it be fun if I was really small" say "well I have a friend that had to knock down the frosting off of the shelf in a grocery store in order to reach it, and it ended up falling on her face simply because there was no one around to assist her. Does that sound like fun to you?". Just to give them something to think about. ;)
Peace, Love, and Otters my friends
Laura
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Some Positive Media!!
**Consider this a little addition to the most recent post I've posted 🙂**
Hi Everyone! I'm sure you've probably seen this amazing young boy, but here is Wyatt Keeton; a die-hard Falcons fan!
He is not only the cutest kid ever, but a very young activist! (And maybe he doesn't even know it!) But this is the type of stuff that I would rather see (and I'm sure other people would like to see). Wyatt is first and foremost described as a die-hard Falcons fan, which personally is what I like to see! I personally do not introduce myself as "Hi my name is Laura and I have dwarfism". I tend to say, "Hi, I'm Laura, I like otters, video games, and my dogs". Dwarfism does not usually make even the first ten describing words. But I do like the information that Fox 9 gives on this little man. You can read the story here: Wyatt Keeton on Fox 9
Wyatt has SED, or Spondyloepiphyseal Dysplasia. He also suffers from spinal stenosis, which is a narrowing of the open spaces in your spine, which can cause all sorts of problems. Luckily, with modern medicine, our buddy here is just about in the clear with his spinal stenosis!
I hope to see more positive media on people with dwarfism! We need more individuals like Wyatt, and supporters like his family who want to spread the positive media for little people!
Peace, Love, and Otters my friends!
Laura
Hi Everyone! I'm sure you've probably seen this amazing young boy, but here is Wyatt Keeton; a die-hard Falcons fan!
He is not only the cutest kid ever, but a very young activist! (And maybe he doesn't even know it!) But this is the type of stuff that I would rather see (and I'm sure other people would like to see). Wyatt is first and foremost described as a die-hard Falcons fan, which personally is what I like to see! I personally do not introduce myself as "Hi my name is Laura and I have dwarfism". I tend to say, "Hi, I'm Laura, I like otters, video games, and my dogs". Dwarfism does not usually make even the first ten describing words. But I do like the information that Fox 9 gives on this little man. You can read the story here: Wyatt Keeton on Fox 9
Wyatt has SED, or Spondyloepiphyseal Dysplasia. He also suffers from spinal stenosis, which is a narrowing of the open spaces in your spine, which can cause all sorts of problems. Luckily, with modern medicine, our buddy here is just about in the clear with his spinal stenosis!
I hope to see more positive media on people with dwarfism! We need more individuals like Wyatt, and supporters like his family who want to spread the positive media for little people!
Peace, Love, and Otters my friends!
Laura
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